~This is Life~

It’s quite hard to serve two masters at the same time. At some point I have to make a decision and have to let go of something that I really love to do. I have to give up on one dream in order to cater what is really needed as of the moment. 
Okay… okay… fine! I am not really giving up nor ditching some good opportunities but maybe putting that dream on hold. My wise old man archetype is telling me that “hey! Wake up to reality and move in to that direction – pointing to that other door”. 

Should I follow that realistic intuition? What’s behind that door? A good life? Travel opportunities? Happiness? Career? Love?  Heaven? God knows how much I wanna invest on genuine happiness and with the all the gifts and talents He bestowed upon me, I wanna use it for His glory.

“For to everyone who has will more be given, and he will have an abundance. But from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away.” -Matthew 25:29
“In the long run we get no more than we have been willing to risk giving.” Sheldon Kopp
I am indeed accountable for my future and for all the blessings I received from God. And so here I am – about to open that door. One day my bucket list will start checking itself because I made the right choice. 

So am taking a long hiatus from writing as I am patiently building another empire for my other dreams. The title, the job, the places I wanted to visit, the stories I wanted to write, the happiness and peace inside my heart… one day… one day… that door… that door… will open…
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“This is Life!”
(c) Quirkyshine 

Forgiveness in My Pocket

Life has been very tough and there are people I wanted to forget, emotional traumas to mend, and memories of friendship to bury 6 feet under. I am not a lover of vengeance yet there are circumstances that would lead me to believe in its scornful power. I just don’t know how to seek revenge.

I grew up having some attachment issues to deal with but I was able to manage it out of my system. I was able to let go of people and yet preserve those good memories with them. That’s a good exercise for the heart.

The truth is I am tired of this cycle – tired of being someone’s mistake. Their wrong perceptions and false accusations about me have become my spiritual downfall.  Why? What have I done to these people? I am not supposed to be petrified of their misjudgement (especially when they are not real) but I care too much that I allowed them to break me.

People do change – but why am I involved in their own issues? Some people will never understand how I live my life and why I kept loving and trusting these wrong people. Should I retract when they hurt me? Should I hide from my own truth? Who holds the truth? I believe there is a God who knows every detail of my journey. I trust His plans for me and there is a reason why some friendships don’t last a lifetime. But there is nothing more painful than being betrayed by the person you really trust. Isn’t it unfair? that some people would go against their sanity and create a monster image of me in their minds. How am I supposed to defend myself? I wonder what to do with these people. I know goodness will prevail and I am waiting for that day – waiting for that moment that the Holy Spirit will touch their hearts. However, I need to let go of them, not that I despise them, but out of my great respect for the wonderful times we had. It’s a waste of time to hate and I can let go of it easily.

Right now I feel like running away – away from this terrible world, away from all social-media dramas and just be productive most of the time.  There is love when you forgive. There may be some limitations to it – you forgive, you let them go, but never allow the behaviour of others to affect your inner peace. Stop blaming yourself for their unwarranted character instead move forward and learn from that experience. Keep praying and meditating for yourself, for others, for the people around you, and for your future relationships. Allow peace to reside in your heart and pull out forgiveness when you need to.

There is more to life than our failed relationships/friendships, remember the Buddhist proverb it says

“Like a lotus flower that grows out of the mud and blossoms above the muddy water surface, we can rise above our defilement and sufferings of life!”
Forgive, forget, and forever shine like a lotus flower.

©Quirkyshine

~It’s You~


Please, don’t  be just a memory…

Silent wishes of the heart

Hoping this love will last

Forever, for keeps, for life

Eternity is not enough

Yes, it’s you… I want

To have

To hold

In craziness and

In sanity

It’s you… I need

My unfeigned reflection

My heart keeper

My emotional balance

It’s love… I’d die for

And you know how much I love you

It’s happiness…I yearn for

Every second, every minute, every hour…

With you 

It’s your smile… I don’t want to miss in the future

I’d give up riches and fortune

To try my luck and bet on you

It’s you… It’s  you…

I ever dreamed of 

In all tomorrows

In every sunrise and sunset

In all good night kisses and morning tickles

It’s  you… it’s you…

A reality I fantasize all day

The truth I’d hope to hear

The doubt I’d like to believe

Please, don’t be just  a memory…

It’s you… it’s you

My happily ever after
(c) quirkyshine

~KD at Heart~


You have my heart in every game you play…

From a fearless thunder to a mighty warrior

You were made to outwit the king

And rise above that glowing ring

(In your time)

Plain and simple, you have your own way

Turning shots into points

Dribbling love inside the war zone

You give your strength to your teammates, that’s how you do

In every battle you amaze the fandom

The way you run, you shoot, you drive 

But this time, you drive dubnation insane

Seeking redemption after a painful loss

Hoping you can end this long vendetta

Win or lose KD

You’re always “Big Chucky’s” pride

The reason behind jersey thirty five

To some people, it’s just a number

To you, it’s a beautiful memory to keep forever

Gone but not forgotten 

He’s always the coach painted in your soul

Dear KD,

I won’t let this moment pass…

Without making few fast breaks

Thanking you for all the thrills and tears

I wanna make this run and shoot rightly before the season finale

I guess I will always be a “KD at heart”

A big fan of you – “Kevin Durant”
(c) Quirkyshine

Realization…


“We fall in love by chance… we stay in love by choice” … and moving on is also a choice. I knew it was time to change the course of my life. Terrifying as it seems to take small/baby steps but I hate standing on the same ground and I don’t want to commit the same mistakes. I understand there are no guarantees in life and sometimes fighting for that one thing that makes us happy makes no sense at all. 

Looking at all the benefits of keeping my distance, I know it will save my heart from serious wreckage. All the signs pointed to one realization, I need to maintain a healthy boundary between us. People change, feelings as well. Should I listen to that little voice? Should I learn to trust my instincts? It may be hard to draw the line that would separate my wants from my needs but am done loving the wrong people.

 ©quirkyshine

~The Traveller~

One day…

You will forget me

My smile… my giggles will all be part of your history.

~

Aching, stinging, gruelling

In a flash, you’ll miss my lips

Why they thirst to kiss you in the first place

~

You moan, you weep, you wail

I will be your worst apology

The hardest chord to play on your guitar

~

I will never be the same

Not the love in your mind

Not the vow written in your heart

Not the memory in your timeline

~

One day…

You will forget the truth

How I always remember the details of your soul

All your faded shades

Tainted fictions of your past

~

One day…

I will be a dream

The space in between

The obscure image before your eyes

~

One day

I will be gone

Your most hurtful goodbye

~

I am but a traveller in your world

Pointing into your direction

Invading the privacy of your letters

Sneaking into your verses

~

Time has come to sail away

Go the distance

I know you will forget me easily

You never said and I was never meant to “STAY”
(c) Quirkyshine 

~Please Come Back Home Safely~

soldier-background_102857984_215

My Dearest Hero,

I am so proud to call you mine but you never belong to me.  I wish I could be there for you, be your smile while you trail some battlefields, be your tears while you cease their fears, be your aid when you feel afraid, and be your hero while you save their lives. I’ll fight alongside perils as much as you do but you’ll be with your troops and I’ll be on my own. I’ll be awake all night building sweet memories of you, dreaming many dreams till the breeze wake me up to reality – a reality that could possibly break my heart.

I cannot hold you long but you always have my heart. I cannot keep you close forever but my prayers are always with you. I may or may not see you again but in my thoughts, you’re always around.

I promise to look after you – not what I can touch or see but what I can feel. Whenever you miss me just look up to the sky, I’ll be somewhere in those spaces reminiscing our love. You’re always free my love, you’re not mine for keeps, but let me love you in difficult times, love you in inevitable calamities. As you give your life, your heart, and your soul for everyone’s safety and for peace, I’ll be here praying for your return. This is a terrifying risk to take for I may not kiss you awake. (But please come home safe)

Yours truly,

One who loves you forever

*dedicated to wives and loved ones of our soldiers in Marawi City fighting against some terrorist group.

image: google