Forgiveness in My Pocket

Life has been very tough and there are people I wanted to forget, emotional traumas to mend, and memories of friendship to bury 6 feet under. I am not a lover of vengeance yet there are circumstances that would lead me to believe in its scornful power. I just don’t know how to seek revenge.

I grew up having some attachment issues to deal with but I was able to manage it out of my system. I was able to let go of people and yet preserve those good memories with them. That’s a good exercise for the heart.

The truth is I am tired of this cycle – tired of being someone’s mistake. Their wrong perceptions and false accusations about me have become my spiritual downfall.  Why? What have I done to these people? I am not supposed to be petrified of their misjudgement (especially when they are not real) but I care too much that I allowed them to break me.

People do change – but why am I involved in their own issues? Some people will never understand how I live my life and why I kept loving and trusting these wrong people. Should I retract when they hurt me? Should I hide from my own truth? Who holds the truth? I believe there is a God who knows every detail of my journey. I trust His plans for me and there is a reason why some friendships don’t last a lifetime. But there is nothing more painful than being betrayed by the person you really trust. Isn’t it unfair? that some people would go against their sanity and create a monster image of me in their minds. How am I supposed to defend myself? I wonder what to do with these people. I know goodness will prevail and I am waiting for that day – waiting for that moment that the Holy Spirit will touch their hearts. However, I need to let go of them, not that I despise them, but out of my great respect for the wonderful times we had. It’s a waste of time to hate and I can let go of it easily.

Right now I feel like running away – away from this terrible world, away from all social-media dramas and just be productive most of the time.  There is love when you forgive. There may be some limitations to it – you forgive, you let them go, but never allow the behaviour of others to affect your inner peace. Stop blaming yourself for their unwarranted character instead move forward and learn from that experience. Keep praying and meditating for yourself, for others, for the people around you, and for your future relationships. Allow peace to reside in your heart and pull out forgiveness when you need to.

There is more to life than our failed relationships/friendships, remember the Buddhist proverb it says

“Like a lotus flower that grows out of the mud and blossoms above the muddy water surface, we can rise above our defilement and sufferings of life!”
Forgive, forget, and forever shine like a lotus flower.

©Quirkyshine

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~It’s You~


Please, don’t  be just a memory…

Silent wishes of the heart

Hoping this love will last

Forever, for keeps, for life

Eternity is not enough

Yes, it’s you… I want

To have

To hold

In craziness and

In sanity

It’s you… I need

My unfeigned reflection

My heart keeper

My emotional balance

It’s love… I’d die for

And you know how much I love you

It’s happiness…I yearn for

Every second, every minute, every hour…

With you 

It’s your smile… I don’t want to miss in the future

I’d give up riches and fortune

To try my luck and bet on you

It’s you… It’s  you…

I ever dreamed of 

In all tomorrows

In every sunrise and sunset

In all good night kisses and morning tickles

It’s  you… it’s you…

A reality I fantasize all day

The truth I’d hope to hear

The doubt I’d like to believe

Please, don’t be just  a memory…

It’s you… it’s you

My happily ever after
(c) quirkyshine

~KD at Heart~


You have my heart in every game you play…

From a fearless thunder to a mighty warrior

You were made to outwit the king

And rise above that glowing ring

(In your time)

Plain and simple, you have your own way

Turning shots into points

Dribbling love inside the war zone

You give your strength to your teammates, that’s how you do

In every battle you amaze the fandom

The way you run, you shoot, you drive 

But this time, you drive dubnation insane

Seeking redemption after a painful loss

Hoping you can end this long vendetta

Win or lose KD

You’re always “Big Chucky’s” pride

The reason behind jersey thirty five

To some people, it’s just a number

To you, it’s a beautiful memory to keep forever

Gone but not forgotten 

He’s always the coach painted in your soul

Dear KD,

I won’t let this moment pass…

Without making few fast breaks

Thanking you for all the thrills and tears

I wanna make this run and shoot rightly before the season finale

I guess I will always be a “KD at heart”

A big fan of you – “Kevin Durant”
(c) Quirkyshine

Realization…


“We fall in love by chance… we stay in love by choice” … and moving on is also a choice. I knew it was time to change the course of my life. Terrifying as it seems to take small/baby steps but I hate standing on the same ground and I don’t want to commit the same mistakes. I understand there are no guarantees in life and sometimes fighting for that one thing that makes us happy makes no sense at all. 

Looking at all the benefits of keeping my distance, I know it will save my heart from serious wreckage. All the signs pointed to one realization, I need to maintain a healthy boundary between us. People change, feelings as well. Should I listen to that little voice? Should I learn to trust my instincts? It may be hard to draw the line that would separate my wants from my needs but am done loving the wrong people.

 ©quirkyshine