~Unsent Letter~

To the one who badly broke my heart…
I wish I could find a pill to forget you

I even prayed harder that God will make me numb

So this heart of mine would stop bleeding


I tried to stay away from the limelight

Did all my best not to think of you most of the time

I never talked about you anymore

And I tried moving on from our painful parting


But I can’t… 

I just can’t…

Something is not right

It is wrong to keep my hopes high


You are still in my heart

Always as always

And memories keep coming back


I am not missing one of them

Since I live in fantasy everyday

To keep those memories alive


It’s really hard to let go of this love

Since you mean so much to me

And I made a promise not to leave you

Don’t  know if I should keep those words


You are far away now

Beyond my sights’ reach


You are not the perfect guy to chase

Just cute but not handsome

Just cool but not a head turner

You are not every woman’s fantasy


But this heart is strange

It always points back to you


Strange why I really want you

Strange why my heart is always looking for you

When you are no longer looking for me


Strange that you don’t actually deserve me

But this heart says you are the best for me


Strange that you might be loving someone else now

Yet this heart hopes it’s still me you love


Strange that we were like cats and dogs

Yet I missed those arguments ’cause thats how I learned to be humble


I wish to find the light

As every night gets colder

Sometimes tears just roll down my face

‘Cause I badly missed you

How I wish this feeling

Would just go away

So no more dying each day

~Forsaken Piece~

Dear Love,
There are many things I would like to say…
Wishes inside my heart
You have never heard before
These unwritten words and
Unspoken feelings 
Are the love you have forgotten
Yes I was the forsaken piece
Probably the missing verse in your poetry or
The omitted note in your song
I was history
You tried to dismiss from mind
When I lost you
I felt deserted
Leaving me lorn and empty
I was the raw rhythm
Never the muse portrayed in your sonnets
Hoping one day
You’ll see the naked truth
That I mean something
A valuable possession
Worth keeping 
Worthy to be loved
If only we could turn back time
Maybe we can rewrite 
Our fate that grown apart
I hope you know
That I am here to stay
Always and forever 
A forsaken piece
That keeps loving you from a distance and in silence


~Of Letting You Go…

Everyday and everynight

I think of you


Beautiful thoughts I’d like to paint in the sky
For the whole world to see

Days and weeks
No words from you
Your silence speaks a lot
You aren’t coming back

I know… that you needed to go
Off to a place
Where you call your home
Where your heart belongs
I know not in my arms and caresses
But to a place 
Where you can express
Yourself through your sonnets and chants

To see you smiling
To see you happy
To see you unconstrained by my selfish whims
Are the things I pray at night

I needed to cut the string 
The string of hope 
Keep a portion of it
Seal it in my heart forever 

Someday my dreams are going to relive our memories
The good and the not so good
The bad and even the worst part 

I know… that you needed to go
Away from my shadow
Shadow that made your hands colder 
Thus difficult for you to hold tightly

I hope to see again the spark in your eyes
If it isn’t for me
That would be fine
I have to set you free
Because that’s what you asked from me

One day…
If our paths cross again
Please don’t ignore me, okay?
Instead greet me with your smile
A smile that once was mine

~quirkyshine November 27, 2016

​~If I Had a Minute Without You in My Mind~

What would life be like if I had a minute without You in my mind?

Perhaps 60 seconds of clarity

No sorrows

No aches

60 seconds of peace

No self-doubts

No confusions 

60 seconds of hope

No darkness 

No gasping of breath

If I had a minute without you in my mind

Will it change the course of history?

Will my heart be the same?

Can it still feel pain?

If I had a minute without you in my mind…

Perhaps 60 seconds of living a full life

No emptiness 

No void to fill

No loneliness 

For 60 meaningful seconds

A moment of stillness 

A taste of what I must do today

Not to wait for tomorrow 

If I can do it…

I must do it now

If I had 60 seconds without you in my mind

There will be silence

For every second… minute… hour of the day

You never left my mind

And so this 60 seconds free of you

Let me try a minute to unlove you

If I had 60 seconds without you in my mind.

~In Dying Hope~

In dying hope…

Where does love go

When it comes to end?


How will we move on from the pain

When rain won’t stop pouring in vain?


A fool I am

To believe in forever

Unmindful of deaths’ existence


When a dear person

Leaves for no reason


Like a thief in the night

Robbing all we got

The happiness seen in our smiles

The joy evident in our eyes

The love inside our heart


Hope in our hands

Slipped away 


Stubborn we become

We start chasing and

Bargaining for anything


Let pass chances of survival

For we die together with our misfortunes

Then there’s nothing left

But our pride


We have to pick up the pieces 

And start from scratch 

Move on from what almost killed us


Pain is a cycle

Death is certain

Life is a mystery

To live or drown

To let go or die with love


Forgiveness favors the strongest heart

In dying we can be whole again


What about love?

It’s being held…

Closely to your heart,

Deeply in your soul,

Steadily in your mind,

Beyond uttered words,

It’s the act itself …

When all else fails, I’d be held


And he asked me…

What is love?

I replied…

It’s clinging to the rawness of your smile

The glow on your lips

The sparkle in your eyes

The youthfulness of your spirit

I succumb to your heart

Arrest me now


On moving on…

How can I move on?

A fairy tale turned cold

Colder like the December weather
When breathing has become a necessity 
And smiles cost more than gold
I lost my last piece of senses
Don’t know how to reinstate my sanity…
Back to being carefree
Back to being happy
What went wrong? 
The clashing of pride 
The turning tables
The shifting of extreme moods
Ego that brought this parting
Sometimes I wonder
If time could possibly do a rewind
Reverse destiny
Deny the darkest truth of history 
Maybe no dreadful surprises
No fatal heartaches
No perilous dreaming
When we were crippled a thousand ways
And stabbed a million lies
Do you still have the guts to question life with all the “why’s and what if’s?”
The should have’s that fractured your soul
No one could understand more of the answer 
Than the one who lived in solitude
When doubts float in vain
And clouds build up to rain
How can I move on?
If this pain demands to be felt

~Quirky shine


​And he was the man…

Sparking in my visions

The lost soul in my saddest journey

He was the young boy… 

Described in fairytales

The prince searching for his princess

Yet I was neither the woman

Nor the pretty lady

He wanted to keep for life