To My Kryptonite

I keep telling myself that everything will be alright and that one day I’ll be over you. I tried my very best to make the relationship work but I failed. I realized I was all alone fighting for the relationship. I really wanted to be with you in your journey, whether crossing fires or driving smooth highways. I wanted to be there in all your victories and sorrows. I wanted to hold your hand and tell you that you will always have me through thick and thin. That I’d be your light when it’s  cold and dark. I wanted to be your home – your safe haven after all your childhood traumas and past relationship dramas, I wanted to offer you pure love and loyalty, because yes, I love you that much.

But not a day goes by where I don’t think about how we failed and how you broke my heart. Such pain that runs so deep, maybe it’s beyond repair.  Writing this brings me to tears but also gives me freedom to finally let go of you. I have so many questions for you… but please I just need you to answer this one question… Did you ever care about me and what I would feel after you discarded me? Needless to say, you were fine with discarding me after all.

Right now, by understanding the whole situation helps me come out rationally and logically. That some things never last, some feelings inevitably change, and I should accept the truth and embrace the fact that we will never ever be together anymore. That letting you go… for you to find your place, to find your true haven, to find your genuine happiness, and to find your great love is the best decision I made for us.

It is then through fervent prayers that I can reach out to you. I may no longer be able to hold your hand again, but I always tell God to keep you under His wings. I pray that you will find the happiness and love you deserve. The success you’ve always worked on. I pray for all the desires of your heart. To love you close maybe impossible now but my love for you will always be present in my prayers.

Yours Truly

Quirky

~Clarity~

My heart starts to believe again…
To embrace this bliss
Should I let go of my fears?
The walls I built, the  boundaries I set
If I give you my heart
Will you take good care of it?
From morning hellos to sweetest good nights and every story you tell
Gave me something to hope for
That I may have found
The clarity that would clear every doubt in my head
Because right this very moment
I feel so at peace
Looking up the skies
Knowing someone out there
Cares enough to bring back the happy soul I once was

(c) quirkyshine

~Yes~

Yes! and I would really say yes if you’d ask me out…
If pinching my nose would make you feel better…
If hugs and kisses would tame your mood
I would really say yes…
Yes to making sure that we will be together in the good times and the bad…
Yes to having breakfast in bed as you take a sip of coffee and then I just smile at you like I’ve just won the lottery…
I would really say yes… yes to taking care of you… as I love all of you…
Yes to loyalty and being faithful
Yes to enduring trying times and staying by your side even in the unforgiving times…
Yes to every good thing that comes to you
Because you deserve all the best in life.
And though our melodies are not in tune…
If you’d ask me to let you go…
I would still say “Yes”
Even if it’s the hardest to do 💔

(c) Quirkyshine

~Dead End~

Here we are chasing hearts again
Chasing love that can never be ours
Hours, days, even years of running in circles
No point of destination
A blind hope per se
Behind, I stand
In front, she is
And then there you are
Not looking back
Just facing her
Here we are chasing hearts again
Waiting for love that goes in vain

(c) quirkyshine

~No Traces~

Tonight, there is something to reminisce…
Of a love, of a boy, of a heartache
Still a bit clueless but I know there is something to remember…
Mine heart not easy to forget
Mind cares of who had left
Every night I want nothing more
But to mend this regret
Leave traces of him behind
Tonight, let it be the night
To send off memories to the sky
Consume my thoughts with all the “what ifs and should haves”
Till I get tired…
Till I get lost…
Till I run out of reasons
Tonight, is the night
To put these feelings to sleep
And to wake up one day
With no flashing histories
Cause the only thing I know is just his name

(c) quirkyshine

June 15, 2019

~9 o’clock pm~

Everytime I close my eyes
I see different scenarios
Of you, of us…
of breaking apart…
of you loving someone else…
of me struggling to breathe
Of you regretting…
of me moving on…
Yes, so many stories in mind…
so many thoughts run wild…

Then slowly fade
When I fall asleep.

(c) Quirkyshine

~Walls~

Why are you building walls around your heart?
Isn’t it so unfair?
You were blocking me instead of her
You built a wall so very high I couldn’t break in
But you allowed her to get inside
Then she left you unwanted again and
This is the saddest thing about love
We build walls to keep the right people out
And allow the wrong person in to wreck us freely.

~whispers of sweet~

(c) quirkyshine

So this is how it feels…

So this is how it feels to love you…
It’s madness, it’s insane, it’s quite uncanny,
Yes! I know we are absurd,
And my heart could no longer hold that eerie, spooky, terrifying thing when it misses you,
I hate it when you are around and yet I grieve to death when you are not,
I despise all your words, most when you sugarcoat,
But I’d trade my life for them just to hear your sweetest lies,
Because that is what my heart believes in…
It believes in you…
That one day your heart will collide with mine
And that I don’t have to chase you for life
So this is how it feels…

(c) quirkyshine

~Counting Steps~

6141d741c82beab9945a0251af36a1e7-walking-away-inspiring-quotes

Ready?
On the count of three…
One… two… but
Wait… wait…
I can’t… I just can’t go on without leaving a short note…
A note with a gentle tone and simple strokes of humor
From this sturdy pen
For the sake of moving on
Proving that we can be wrong
We’re both pathetic
Caring for the careless
Clearing their confound mess
Surrendering to being reckless
We’re both horrendous fools
Believing lies after lies
Denying the truest truth…
A plain fact that we can’t have the ones we love
But we keep chasing them
Hastening the race
Ending up losing
Your battle with her
Mine with you
Ready?
On the count of three…
Am more convinced to set you free
Whilst nurturing this fruitless tree
Hoping someday your mind will change
And feel your heart in closer range
But reality speaks volumes
Fair and convincing that…
I am the lover you took for granted
You are the pursuer she left for gold
We’re both crippled afraid to heal
Always taking a u-turn
Scared our paths will cross again
I may not be able to mend completely
Are you ready?
Am I ready?
On the count of three…
One… two…
I must run…
Runaway from here
Runaway from you
Runaway from love
One… two… three… go!

(c) Quirkyshine