~Walls~

Why are you building walls around your heart?
Isn’t it so unfair?
You were blocking me instead of her
You built a wall so very high I couldn’t break in
But you allowed her to get inside
Then she left you unwanted again and
This is the saddest thing about love
We build walls to keep the right people out
And allow the wrong person in to wreck us freely.

~whispers of sweet~

(c) quirkyshine

​~Defying Gravity~


No more clouds of doubts…

I should start trusting my instincts

You are someone worth keeping

Someone worth loving

But I am too coward to give a try

I love you, yes I really do

Yet no sign you feel the same way too

I should defy gravity

Stop my heart from falling for you 

Defy what nature’s calling for I am not expecting anything in return…

I’m just happy… just happy

Love lives in me
(c) Quirkyshine 
Image: google

​~Admission~

Truth be told…

Even though my heart denies everything…

The emotions

The sudden beating 

The unexplained excitement

That I cannot contest what it feels at the moment.

That somewhere in my dreams I found relief from this unforeseen catastrophe.

That before love becomes an unavoidable casualty it needs thorough attention.

A phenomenon in my life I need to embrace…

Surrendering to the fact… that I’m falling for you.
(c) Quirkyshine ❤❤❤

Image: google 

~PatieNcE~


Patience…

In times of hardship

When it’s difficult to understand 

When it’s tearing your heart 

Patience…

In times of confusion 

When waking up is such a burden

And sleeping is a struggle too

Patience…

In times of silence

When so many letters left unwritten 

And words aren’t enough to fill the void

Patience…

When you have to wait

For love to be finally yours

When you have to embrace 

All the troubles that come your way

When it’s wrecking your sanity.

Love…

Since time immemorial 

Is always patient and kind

It never loses hope

Love in times of defeat

Love in times of darkness

For better or for worse 

Love with the intention to persevere

Love is patient 
(c) quirky
*Image from google

~Heart Check: Please Take Good Care of Your Heart~

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The realities of love are often perplexing, seemingly hard to understand. The bible tells us to guard our hearts, for everything we do flows from it. Does it guarantee immunity from pain? Does love favor the bravest? Some people cling to the belief that shielding one’s heart will save them from getting hurt but I do not subscribe to such line of reasoning. Reality always scares us – no, it’s the tangible side of reality. Though love sometimes leads to serious distress, some people still choose to experience love because that’s the only way to unlock its mystery.
I am truly grateful for the day I allowed myself to get hurt, the day I supported my impetuous heart. The moment we commit to someone gives birth to pain because not all relationships have happy endings.
Love doesn’t mature in tranquil times; love doesn’t flourish in untilled hearts; for love to grow – we must learn how to swim against powerful tides, surpass the test of time, get even with all odds, lose some winning games, and break into tormenting zones.
Guarding your heart doesn’t mean “not” allowing ourselves getting bruises and burns. It’s  definitely impossible not to get hurt in any romantic relationships. We cannot stop some forces of nature. Sometimes we injure ourselves while walking, preparing meals, or opening windows but we have to walk to reach our destination, eat to satiate our hunger or open the window to breathe some fresh air. Same goes for love, you’ll never know the magic it brings if you’re too afraid to take risks.
To guard our hearts means to be mindful of what we plant inside. According to the bible, “we harvest what we plant.” If fear, we’ll miss the thrill of life. If pride, we’ll lose some good opportunities. If greed, we’ll gain nothing but turmoil. If jealousy, we’ll see no beauty in everyone. If hatred, we’ll never find love.
Therefore, allow love to reside in your heart. Concede to its undesirable perplexities. Indulge in its biting reality. Embrace all uncertainties. Letting our hearts get broken for countless times because there are lessons learned from every fall, a pot of gold, after all.
Written by: Quirkyshine

~What Does Cancer Feel Like~

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(For the fearless survivors)

What does cancer feel like?

Of course, it’s really terrible yet challenging…
The thought of dying soon.
The pain every IV insertion and blood extraction.
The terrible swelling of the veins…
The thought of losing your hair…
The idea of shopping scarfs and wigs…
The cold temperature inside the chemo room
The terrible smell of the food…
The weakness you feel after the last shot…
The worries haunting you at night…
The thought of missing important events (weddings of friends, birthdays of loved ones, Christmas, Valentine’s day)
The idea of writing farewell letters and notes for friends…
The small things that irritate you like noise, bright lights, and other kinds of stuff…
The insecurities you feel cause people gonna treat you differently like everyone gonna treat you like a fragile thing…
The feeling of doing confession every night as you might not wake up the next day…
The scary nightmares creeping into our bones… coffins, big needles chasing us, etc…
The sickening taste of food after chemo session…
The thought of having cancer is a curse… WHEN IN TRUTH IT’S NOT.

However, life is a journey… it has many twists and turns and sometimes it favors the brave.

 

Cancer changed me in so many ways from a very boring girl to being fearless and bold. I dare not protest and resist the will of God. I thought of it like an adventure – a fun trip worth remembering. Truly I am grateful for what it taught me. Therefore, I salute all of you with this kind of battle. It was never easy but we choose to fight.

According to the movie New Life… “we are patients cause they are teaching us patience”.

For me cancer became my best teacher… it taught me to always LIVE FULLY with so much love.

(c) quirkyshine

 

 

​~Falsetto~


Within my soul

A pitch that lasts

Aroused by his arresting rhythms

When he calls my name

I drift into his tone

So sweet

So consoling

And my heart starts singing

Do-re-mi-fa-so-la-ti-do

Till the highest note

He will always be my range
(c) Quirkyshine

~The Art of Past Memories and Scars~

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Originally posted on http://hesaidshesaidph.com/art-past-memories-scars/

“We all love to keep memories of the past.”

Consciously and unconsciously we put these memories on a pedestal, like our god or the leader of the pack, sort of like a blueprint – a guide on what to do in the near future. We feed these memories with toxic feelings like bitterness, hatred, or resentments poisonous to our very own growth. We nurture them like a little baby, taking down each milestone as we move on from our unfriendly past.

We have lots of scars in our hearts. Some of them already have “Torrens Title” to this hollow muscular organ of ours, pumping pain till we can no longer hold each hurt, leading to a fatal heart attack. Some wounds though long been healed still its twinge can be felt more often. Because these horrendous scars have an indefeasible title to our being, which keeps us from moving on.

In this not so perfect world, we are easily deceived by our pretentious id. In psychology the id basically works to satisfy our needs, it is like a pill or a drug that drives us insane. We rely so much on its falsity as we are afraid to hear the truth; that “past is past, we need to “let go.” We like to hang out in our comfort zones because it’s more convenient for us. When all these memories piled up in our thoughts leaving no space for peace and forgiveness, we become captives of our own blunder. These are life’s setbacks that we need to address right away. Tendency, we get so overwhelmed, thus stopping us from growing.

For 2 to 3 months, I’ve been filling myself up with negative energies. For many weeks I’d been nursing my pain, stuffing unpleasant feelings, cultivating vengeance, fueling my rage towards everything, seeding unhappy thoughts, catering misery through my poetry, and feasting on past sad memories. I had terrible amounts of toxins flowing in my blood. I lost my appetite and that need to socialize. The good life I had and I knew of was changed when I lost myself to depression. Yes, I was battling with depression. Reality was tough, heartaches were unbearable, and life was seemingly hopeless.

Unknowingly, I let painful memories reside in my heart and gave tenants’ rights to my scars. I died. But big thanks to “FAITH”, God actually waited for that tragic moment, I have to die first, so I can fully appreciate and understand what “MIRACLE” really means.

I am quitting all negative vibes for good. Been there, done that, move on. This whole ordeal is all about renewing my true being. That I am special and that God is greater than my heartaches. The moment I accepted His will I found relief.

Part of the process is to embrace the past. That it happened and we could no longer change the history. That time machines are not real and all we need to do is to adjust to the changes of the time.

Memories are supposedly beautiful – whether good or not, the purpose of memories is to teach us lessons. Let it serve its purpose in your life. Do not let those memories paralyze your growth. Though there are times we keep reliving them, allow yourself to feel it till you get numb. The moment you feel the numbness start planning out for today and tomorrow. Baby steps will do as long as you commit yourself to the process.

Do not ever treat memories like your god. But allow God to use those painful memories to your own advantage. As to your scars, demand for rental payment or the value of the space they are occupying. No matter how ugly the scar is, treat it like a beautiful art. It is you and the scar who truly know the real story – story of survival. Make peace with those scars, it is there already, but you have the power to create something beautiful out of it.

Receive the gifts of heaven, if you are gifted to paint use those scars as your muse, if gifted with a voice let scar be your rhythm, and if you are gifted of writing use those scars as your words. It is how you use your memories and scars that will help you grow maturely.

(c) quirkyshine a.k.a. Shine Lum

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~Star Light, Star Bright~

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Star light, star bright

I wish…

I could touch your beautiful face as I watch you sleep tonight

I wish…

I could hear the loud beating of your heart as you dream of me

I wish…

I could see my soul through your lovely eyes upon waking up

I wish…

I could take your spirit back to the light where it belongs

I wish…

I could hold your hand

and take you for a walk along the shore to watch sunrise

I wish…

I could help you in any way

To ease the burden you’ve been carrying all day

I wish…

I could paint a beautiful picture in your mind so you will never have nightmares tonight

So this is my wish

To the billion stars twinkling in the sky

I say a little prayer

As I kiss you goodnight

© quirky shine 2015