​I have a fiery heart yet monogamous in nature. I have creepy and unearthly means of dealing mysteries in life. I am weak and strong but it’s the latter that holds my preposterous reasoning. I can be absurd and clear. I can be loud and quiet in both extremes. I am a singular verb living in a world of plurality. I act and do things on my own because I am alone but happy.


Not A Day Goes By


“Not a day goes by without His unfolding grace.” The love of God is real and He is working miraculously in my life once more.

“The pain I feel today will be my strength for tomorrow.”

It may take some time to completely heal but the most important thing is “I am getting better”. I embraced 2016 with an open heart and open mind that life happens for a reason. I was confined in the hospital for 7 days due to bilateral pneumonia. It was not pneumonia at first, I had an inflamed throat that led to some serious condition. I had two unforgettable attacks, one was when my lungs were filled with water (pulmonary congestion) and the other one is carpopedal spasm which is fatal per se.  It was unforgettable and unforgivable, it was all fault, I was too busy to care for my health. If not for the whole day lecture I did at the Nursing Department of our school, none of these would have happened. Yes I was so busy at work, I work at day time; go to school at night because I wanted to finish my masters degree on time. I accepted so many tasks, publishing articles for our local circulation, helping student’s researches, counseling some teenage problems at night, and doing my personal research project at the cancer care society of my place. All because I wanted to be productive everyday despite my cancer history. My doctors told me there is nothing wrong to do all those things, but I have to accept that I am not a normal person with a normal immune system. I abused my body which led to total bug down of my immune system.

Well I guess I just have to accept my destiny, I have to make some changes, have to redo my bucket list for 2016. I have to accept that God has reasons for everything… for this struggle… the only challenge now is how to face all this ordeal… everything is unclear yet as I have to resign from work and stop schooling for awhile. (a rest for a year was my doctors’ advice) I have no idea if the next step is a solid ground or another cliff… (I hope not a cliff) but I know life will be good as soon as I get my strength back. Life must go on and I must embrace life no matter how hard I have to go through.

I’ve learned that when we are on the verge of trouble, that’s when it’s most important to gather every last bit of strength and keep hoping that life is worth every single moment.

“There’s far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can’t see now will last forever. (2 Cor. 4:16-18)”

I do believe we grow when we are tested. We grow when we beat all odds. That’s when we realize that God is good all the time; that we are capable of handling all our troubles beyond our strength.

Friends, I hope we open our hearts and minds that hardships, misfortunes, and tragedies are ways for us to grow as a whole and mature person.

I am really sorry for this very late “Happy New Year” Greetings. I am fixing my time yet, I will eventually visit all your posts and read them. I am sorry it took me a long time to reply. Catch up with you soon.

Keep living! I am embracing uncertainties wholeheartedly and I have faith that God has better plans for me.

Amen. To God be the glory!

~yours truly, quirkyshine