I keep telling myself that everything will be alright and that one day I’ll be over you. I tried my very best to make the relationship work but I failed. I realized I was all alone fighting for the relationship. I really wanted to be with you in your journey, whether crossing fires or driving smooth highways. I wanted to be there in all your victories and sorrows. I wanted to hold your hand and tell you that you will always have me through thick and thin. That I’d be your light when it’s cold and dark. I wanted to be your home – your safe haven after all your childhood traumas and past relationship dramas, I wanted to offer you pure love and loyalty, because yes, I love you that much.
But not a day goes by where I don’t think about how we failed and how you broke my heart. Such pain that runs so deep, maybe it’s beyond repair. Writing this brings me to tears but also gives me freedom to finally let go of you. I have so many questions for you… but please I just need you to answer this one question… Did you ever care about me and what I would feel after you discarded me? Needless to say, you were fine with discarding me after all.
Right now, by understanding the whole situation helps me come out rationally and logically. That some things never last, some feelings inevitably change, and I should accept the truth and embrace the fact that we will never ever be together anymore. That letting you go… for you to find your place, to find your true haven, to find your genuine happiness, and to find your great love is the best decision I made for us.
It is then through fervent prayers that I can reach out to you. I may no longer be able to hold your hand again, but I always tell God to keep you under His wings. I pray that you will find the happiness and love you deserve. The success you’ve always worked on. I pray for all the desires of your heart. To love you close maybe impossible now but my love for you will always be present in my prayers.
Yes! and I would really say yes if you’d ask me out… If pinching my nose would make you feel better… If hugs and kisses would tame your mood I would really say yes… Yes to making sure that we will be together in the good times and the bad… Yes to having breakfast in bed as you take a sip of coffee and then I just smile at you like I’ve just won the lottery… I would really say yes… yes to taking care of you… as I love all of you… Yes to loyalty and being faithful Yes to enduring trying times and staying by your side even in the unforgiving times… Yes to every good thing that comes to you Because you deserve all the best in life. And though our melodies are not in tune… If you’d ask me to let you go… I would still say “Yes” Even if it’s the hardest to do 💔
Here we are chasing hearts again Chasing love that can never be ours Hours, days, even years of running in circles No point of destination A blind hope per se Behind, I stand In front, she is And then there you are Not looking back Just facing her Here we are chasing hearts again Waiting for love that goes in vain
I was not supposed to hate you…
Whatever I do, whatever I feed to my thoughts
I always come back to our friendship
No matter how mad or angry I become
I can’t afford to be vengeful
Not to you…
What is in my heart now is pain
What I cannot mend is this wound so deep
And even though I am losing hope and losing faith
What is in the bottom of my heart
That love always brings comfort
It has all the power to heal it’s own, and that…
Love causes tears
Tears that can wash off stains of yesterdays
Tears that can water our happy memories
Tears that can purify the soul and welcome forgiveness
Tears that can clear my vision
That no matter how painful life can be for us
The choices we made…
The chances we took…
The opportunities we passed by…
I am still here drawing strength from the bottom of my heart.
Believing one day, I’ll be singing this song “you never really love someone until you learn to forgive”
One day… I will learn to forgive.
(c) quirkyshine, 12/1/2019
***Ben and Ben is a name of a local band from the Philippines, who wrote and sang the famous song “Leaves.” It is a beautiful song, with a powerful medsage.
Tonight, there is something to reminisce…
Of a love, of a boy, of a heartache
Still a bit clueless but I know there is something to remember…
Mine heart not easy to forget
Mind cares of who had left
Every night I want nothing more
But to mend this regret
Leave traces of him behind
Tonight, let it be the night
To send off memories to the sky
Consume my thoughts with all the “what ifs and should haves”
Till I get tired…
Till I get lost…
Till I run out of reasons
Tonight, is the night
To put these feelings to sleep
And to wake up one day
With no flashing histories
Cause the only thing I know is just his name
Everytime I close my eyes
I see different scenarios
Of you, of us…
of breaking apart…
of you loving someone else…
of me struggling to breathe
Of you regretting…
of me moving on…
Yes, so many stories in mind…
so many thoughts run wild…
Spend at least 30 minutes each morning in quiet contemplation, simply by being present. Today I decided to welcome Monday morning with a smile… allow the beauty of the glorious sun to warm my soul. Lord, You are so amazing. ❤ hashtag morning walk. Good Morning world! From Bohol, Philippines with love
Why are you building walls around your heart?
Isn’t it so unfair?
You were blocking me instead of her
You built a wall so very high I couldn’t break in
But you allowed her to get inside
Then she left you unwanted again and
This is the saddest thing about love
We build walls to keep the right people out
And allow the wrong person in to wreck us freely.