That single thingy thing…


“Are you waiting for someone?” my friend asked me

In all honesty, yes and I will never ever settle for less now.

I am waiting for the one who will end this mediocrity. One who values quality time and spend his life in serving our Lord. Waiting for the one who gives up his pride and humbles himself before our God. One whose knees are anointed for a prayerful man is worth waiting for. 

I am waiting… yes waiting for the one who dares to take the lead… whose decisions I have full respect. Who’s wise enough to make a reasonable choice and bold enough to face reality. I will love the one who’s proud of his talents and skills – blessed is he whose confidence is in our God.

I am waiting… yes waiting for a dedicated home builder – an extremely devoted life artist, who practically fulfills his calling as a man of faith. One whose pockets aren’t rotten. One whose happiness cannot be found in swindling and gambling. For God really loves a selfless and responsible man.

I shouldn’t be disheartened if I have to wait a lifetime… I must love someone… love a follower of Christ… someone who brings out the best in me… who plants kindness and gentleness in my heart… whose spirituality is impenetrable… whose teachings are far greater than the wise… someone who’s an antidote to my unsound mind. I must choose the one who commits his life to God’s missions…. whose life is in His words… who seeks His face to find grace… for God bless a Christ-like man.

And yes I am waiting for someone… someone with a pure heart and serene mind…  a good soul… whose love I can completely enjoy. ❤

© quirkyshine




~What Does Cancer Feel Like~


(For the fearless survivors)

What does cancer feel like?

Of course, it’s really terrible yet challenging…
The thought of dying soon.
The pain every IV insertion and blood extraction.
The terrible swelling of the veins…
The thought of losing your hair…
The idea of shopping scarfs and wigs…
The cold temperature inside the chemo room
The terrible smell of the food…
The weakness you feel after the last shot…
The worries haunting you at night…
The thought of missing important events (weddings of friends, birthdays of loved ones, Christmas, Valentine’s day)
The idea of writing farewell letters and notes for friends…
The small things that irritate you like noise, bright lights, and other kinds of stuff…
The insecurities you feel cause people gonna treat you differently like everyone gonna treat you like a fragile thing…
The feeling of doing confession every night as you might not wake up the next day…
The scary nightmares creeping into our bones… coffins, big needles chasing us, etc…
The sickening taste of food after chemo session…
The thought of having cancer is a curse… WHEN IN TRUTH IT’S NOT.

However, life is a journey… it has many twists and turns and sometimes it favors the brave.


Cancer changed me in so many ways from a very boring girl to being fearless and bold. I dare not protest and resist the will of God. I thought of it like an adventure – a fun trip worth remembering. Truly I am grateful for what it taught me. Therefore, I salute all of you with this kind of battle. It was never easy but we choose to fight.

According to the movie New Life… “we are patients cause they are teaching us patience”.

For me cancer became my best teacher… it taught me to always LIVE FULLY with so much love.

(c) quirkyshine



~My Battle~


“Strength is born in the deep silence of long-suffering hearts; not amidst joy.”

Cancer once took my hair, my strength, and my dreams

Going through chemotherapy is a  terrible experience

I have to go through hell  and face a lot of uncertainties

I cannot change the past, I cannot change my destiny

I can’t deny the fact that everyday I have to face a lot of fears

Fear of dying

The terror of withering

The fear of gradually ceasing and deteriorating

Because death can be terrifying

In order to live, I  need to die

Cancer tried to rob me of all the beautiful things I have

But cancer didn’t succeed

I gave a good fight

I fought with all my strength

And I was victorious

This was once my battle

My body was the battle ground

I know no one could ever fight this battle better than myself

I need to live in order to face my fear

For death can also be a beautiful beginning

I have to be brave  in life

Do whatever I can

Whenever I can

And However I can

I am not scared of dying

I am afraid I will be missing a lot of things

I am afraid I will be leaving my loved ones

And making them feel the pangs of grief

I have to let go of my fears

See things from a different perspective

Like twisting a kaleidoscope

Seeing something new with each turn

Seeing different patterns, different hues and colors

I had to learn that to live is to accept whatever trials come my way

Today is just the beginning of a brighter future

Finally I  put my trust to the Lord for His plans  are always perfect

I need to  live  life with  full of hopes

I survived the most powerful storm in my life

Whats next after the storm?

Isn’t it a rainbow?

Cancer took away my fears

Cancer cannot steal my destiny

I am destined to live

This is who I am

A survivor

A fighter

A winner in life

© 2015 quirky (a lymphoma survivor) This is my testimony in a form of poetry

© 2015 quirky (a lymphoma survivor)