Everytime I close my eyes
I see different scenarios
Of you, of us…
of breaking apart…
of you loving someone else…
of me struggling to breathe
Of you regretting…
of me moving on…
Yes, so many stories in mind…
so many thoughts run wild…
Then slowly fade
When I fall asleep.
So this is how it feels to love you…
It’s madness, it’s insane, it’s quite uncanny,
Yes! I know we are absurd,
And my heart could no longer hold that eerie, spooky, terrifying thing when it misses you,
I hate it when you are around and yet I grieve to death when you are not,
I despise all your words, most when you sugarcoat,
But I’d trade my life for them just to hear your sweetest lies,
Because that is what my heart believes in…
It believes in you…
That one day your heart will collide with mine
And that I don’t have to chase you for life
So this is how it feels…
“Are you waiting for someone?” my friend asked me
In all honesty, yes and I will never ever settle for less now.
I am waiting for the one who will end this mediocrity. One who values quality time and spend his life in serving our Lord. Waiting for the one who gives up his pride and humbles himself before our God. One whose knees are anointed for a prayerful man is worth waiting for.
I am waiting… yes waiting for the one who dares to take the lead… whose decisions I have full respect. Who’s wise enough to make a reasonable choice and bold enough to face reality. I will love the one who’s proud of his talents and skills – blessed is he whose confidence is in our God.
I am waiting… yes waiting for a dedicated home builder – an extremely devoted life artist, who practically fulfills his calling as a man of faith. One whose pockets aren’t rotten. One whose happiness cannot be found in swindling and gambling. For God really loves a selfless and responsible man.
I shouldn’t be disheartened if I have to wait a lifetime… I must love someone… love a follower of Christ… someone who brings out the best in me… who plants kindness and gentleness in my heart… whose spirituality is impenetrable… whose teachings are far greater than the wise… someone who’s an antidote to my unsound mind. I must choose the one who commits his life to God’s missions…. whose life is in His words… who seeks His face to find grace… for God bless a Christ-like man.
And yes I am waiting for someone… someone with a pure heart and serene mind… a good soul… whose love I can completely enjoy. ❤
Sometimes I think about a memory. So beautiful I keep coming back. A memory I wanted to last but heart’s too broken some feelings turned into dust. There are those wonderful times that made us fall in love with the sound of chimes. How sweetly life seemed to be that moment your heart has finally set on mine. We were young and wild fascinated by magic and fairy tales, a happy ever after painted in the palm of our hands. And I remember the paper boats and paper planes they took us to places beyond the reach of our imagination. We were so drawn to each other like we were standing on different magnetic fields.
Yet we were too good to be true… too naive to understand the beating of our hearts… I wasn’t ready to take the leap at all.
Then we parted ways… your ship has sailed… I missed all the chances to say the least… at least a quick farewell.
And so these memories are my ways to see you again… that even in my thoughts I can be with you and I can tell you what my heart longs to say. Once upon a summer time you are the story found in the archive of my memory.