~What Does Cancer Feel Like~

9

(For the fearless survivors)

What does cancer feel like?

Of course, it’s really terrible yet challenging…
The thought of dying soon.
The pain every IV insertion and blood extraction.
The terrible swelling of the veins…
The thought of losing your hair…
The idea of shopping scarfs and wigs…
The cold temperature inside the chemo room
The terrible smell of the food…
The weakness you feel after the last shot…
The worries haunting you at night…
The thought of missing important events (weddings of friends, birthdays of loved ones, Christmas, Valentine’s day)
The idea of writing farewell letters and notes for friends…
The small things that irritate you like noise, bright lights, and other kinds of stuff…
The insecurities you feel cause people gonna treat you differently like everyone gonna treat you like a fragile thing…
The feeling of doing confession every night as you might not wake up the next day…
The scary nightmares creeping into our bones… coffins, big needles chasing us, etc…
The sickening taste of food after chemo session…
The thought of having cancer is a curse… WHEN IN TRUTH IT’S NOT.

However, life is a journey… it has many twists and turns and sometimes it favors the brave.

 

Cancer changed me in so many ways from a very boring girl to being fearless and bold. I dare not protest and resist the will of God. I thought of it like an adventure – a fun trip worth remembering. Truly I am grateful for what it taught me. Therefore, I salute all of you with this kind of battle. It was never easy but we choose to fight.

According to the movie New Life… “we are patients cause they are teaching us patience”.

For me cancer became my best teacher… it taught me to always LIVE FULLY with so much love.

(c) quirkyshine

 

 

~November Fifth~

Remembering the battle I fought so hard… it was a different kind of battle… it was a battle between life and death, faith and doubt, hope and despair, love and resentment. It was far from the battle of many ordinary people. It was a fight for freedom… to liberate myself from darkness that almost killed the cells in my body… It was a fight for love… to pierce my heart that was shrouded in fear, it was a fight for hope… to uncover every doubt playing in my thoughts…it was a fight for life… to reveal the secrets of death. Remembering the days when breathing was not free for me, when every air I breathe costs more than my salary. Remembering the days when smile is akin to cure. Every cheer is equivalent to a vial injected to my veins. Remembering the days when love and comfort from my family, relatives, and friends are worth more than any precious gems or jewels in the universe. Remembering the days when I was in the hands of the angels in scrubs/white uniform with stethoscope hanging around their neck. Their words of inspiration are like food for the soul. Remembering the people behind me… my family, friends, relatives, doctors and nurses… Remembering the people who were there for me and who are still with me today. All of you have a special place in my heart and may the good Lord bless you with a beautiful and blissful life.

Thank you Lord for giving me another life!!

November 5, 2012 a day worth remembering!!