To My Kryptonite

I keep telling myself that everything will be alright and that one day I’ll be over you. I tried my very best to make the relationship work but I failed. I realized I was all alone fighting for the relationship. I really wanted to be with you in your journey, whether crossing fires or driving smooth highways. I wanted to be there in all your victories and sorrows. I wanted to hold your hand and tell you that you will always have me through thick and thin. That I’d be your light when it’s  cold and dark. I wanted to be your home – your safe haven after all your childhood traumas and past relationship dramas, I wanted to offer you pure love and loyalty, because yes, I love you that much.

But not a day goes by where I don’t think about how we failed and how you broke my heart. Such pain that runs so deep, maybe it’s beyond repair.  Writing this brings me to tears but also gives me freedom to finally let go of you. I have so many questions for you… but please I just need you to answer this one question… Did you ever care about me and what I would feel after you discarded me? Needless to say, you were fine with discarding me after all.

Right now, by understanding the whole situation helps me come out rationally and logically. That some things never last, some feelings inevitably change, and I should accept the truth and embrace the fact that we will never ever be together anymore. That letting you go… for you to find your place, to find your true haven, to find your genuine happiness, and to find your great love is the best decision I made for us.

It is then through fervent prayers that I can reach out to you. I may no longer be able to hold your hand again, but I always tell God to keep you under His wings. I pray that you will find the happiness and love you deserve. The success you’ve always worked on. I pray for all the desires of your heart. To love you close maybe impossible now but my love for you will always be present in my prayers.

Yours Truly

Quirky

~No Traces~

Tonight, there is something to reminisce…
Of a love, of a boy, of a heartache
Still a bit clueless but I know there is something to remember…
Mine heart not easy to forget
Mind cares of who had left
Every night I want nothing more
But to mend this regret
Leave traces of him behind
Tonight, let it be the night
To send off memories to the sky
Consume my thoughts with all the “what ifs and should haves”
Till I get tired…
Till I get lost…
Till I run out of reasons
Tonight, is the night
To put these feelings to sleep
And to wake up one day
With no flashing histories
Cause the only thing I know is just his name

(c) quirkyshine

June 15, 2019

~9 o’clock pm~

Everytime I close my eyes
I see different scenarios
Of you, of us…
of breaking apart…
of you loving someone else…
of me struggling to breathe
Of you regretting…
of me moving on…
Yes, so many stories in mind…
so many thoughts run wild…

Then slowly fade
When I fall asleep.

(c) Quirkyshine

~Counting Steps~

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Ready?
On the count of three…
One… two… but
Wait… wait…
I can’t… I just can’t go on without leaving a short note…
A note with a gentle tone and simple strokes of humor
From this sturdy pen
For the sake of moving on
Proving that we can be wrong
We’re both pathetic
Caring for the careless
Clearing their confound mess
Surrendering to being reckless
We’re both horrendous fools
Believing lies after lies
Denying the truest truth…
A plain fact that we can’t have the ones we love
But we keep chasing them
Hastening the race
Ending up losing
Your battle with her
Mine with you
Ready?
On the count of three…
Am more convinced to set you free
Whilst nurturing this fruitless tree
Hoping someday your mind will change
And feel your heart in closer range
But reality speaks volumes
Fair and convincing that…
I am the lover you took for granted
You are the pursuer she left for gold
We’re both crippled afraid to heal
Always taking a u-turn
Scared our paths will cross again
I may not be able to mend completely
Are you ready?
Am I ready?
On the count of three…
One… two…
I must run…
Runaway from here
Runaway from you
Runaway from love
One… two… three… go!

(c) Quirkyshine

~Heart Check: Please Take Good Care of Your Heart~

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The realities of love are often perplexing, seemingly hard to understand. The bible tells us to guard our hearts, for everything we do flows from it. Does it guarantee immunity from pain? Does love favor the bravest? Some people cling to the belief that shielding one’s heart will save them from getting hurt but I do not subscribe to such line of reasoning. Reality always scares us – no, it’s the tangible side of reality. Though love sometimes leads to serious distress, some people still choose to experience love because that’s the only way to unlock its mystery.
I am truly grateful for the day I allowed myself to get hurt, the day I supported my impetuous heart. The moment we commit to someone gives birth to pain because not all relationships have happy endings.
Love doesn’t mature in tranquil times; love doesn’t flourish in untilled hearts; for love to grow – we must learn how to swim against powerful tides, surpass the test of time, get even with all odds, lose some winning games, and break into tormenting zones.
Guarding your heart doesn’t mean “not” allowing ourselves getting bruises and burns. It’s  definitely impossible not to get hurt in any romantic relationships. We cannot stop some forces of nature. Sometimes we injure ourselves while walking, preparing meals, or opening windows but we have to walk to reach our destination, eat to satiate our hunger or open the window to breathe some fresh air. Same goes for love, you’ll never know the magic it brings if you’re too afraid to take risks.
To guard our hearts means to be mindful of what we plant inside. According to the bible, “we harvest what we plant.” If fear, we’ll miss the thrill of life. If pride, we’ll lose some good opportunities. If greed, we’ll gain nothing but turmoil. If jealousy, we’ll see no beauty in everyone. If hatred, we’ll never find love.
Therefore, allow love to reside in your heart. Concede to its undesirable perplexities. Indulge in its biting reality. Embrace all uncertainties. Letting our hearts get broken for countless times because there are lessons learned from every fall, a pot of gold, after all.
Written by: Quirkyshine

~Thousand Yellow Balloons~ (original)

I.

Oh this love
It’s paradise
I’m hypnotized
By your smile
And I cry
Holding you so long
To your heart
I belong

II.
Oh this heart
Is missing you my love
I’m mezmerized
By your charm
And I smile
Right after we kissed
To your heart
I belong

Chorus

Fly fly fly take me to the sky
Try try try we’ll catch the butterflies
Letting go
Letting go
Thousand yellow balloons
Light up the sky
Light up the sky

III.
Oh my love
You’re paradise
I’m amazed
Of your eyes so blue
And I fall…and I fall
Will you catch me then
To your heart
I belong

(Chorus)

To your heart
I belong…
Fly fly fly like a dancing butterfly
try try try to reach the highest skies
Letting go
Letting go
Thousand yellow balloons
Letting go
Letting go
Let it fly…
Light up the sky
Learning to fly
To your heart
To your heart
Where I belong
I belong
I belong

music and lyrics:
© quirkyshine 2015