~Note to Self~

Nothing hurts more than
Giving your best shot
And being left alone with so much pain in the heart
~
I know you tried your very best to see the wisdom of everything…
Behind every downfall
~
I know you are stronger than yesterday
Yes I know you will survive
Yet allow me…
Allow me to wander in solitude sometimes
I wanna let time unfold itself…
Twist the hands of the clock
Tighten the verdict of reality
And let healing find it’s way back to me
~
Dear self…
I know you need to breathe
Sniff the scent of goodness this life could offer
Would it be alright to refuse your call?
I wanna yield into sadness for a short while
See the truth why I have to savor its’ sickening taste
Why I have to torture myself and
Dwell into forbidden thoughts
I wanna hold on to memories of my unfriendly past –
Till I master the art of letting go
~
Dear self…
I know you’re weary and tired
You wanna rest and live in peace you’ve been praying all night
Yet permit me…
For a moment
To die
And find the way to life
It is through this rebellion
I could clarify my confusions, resolve the mystery of a broken vow,
And decipher the hidden code of this sorrow.
Yes I wanna drown myself in bitterness
Kill the hope in my mind
Till it buds forgiveness
And ready to betray darkness
~
Dear self…
Be patient
Hold on to me
Till I see the light
Never will I let you down
I promise to
Free you of the pain
That’s haunting you in vain
Be strong
We will survive.

(c) Shine Lum (Quirkyshine)

*a contest piece

*originally  posted on http://hesaidshesaidph.com/note-to-self1/